The Reality of Forgiveness

By Jazlan Ahn

www.jazlanahn.com

Haven’t you heard?  We create our own reality?  It is difficult to argue with the idea that we are responsible for our lives and our actions.  We manifest that which we generate through our words, deeds and actions.  After all “like attracts like” – right?  I agree.  Even though I agree with this as a truth I find the common notion that we create our own reality lacking a little something.  I think its called compassion.

Many children are born with birth defects and diseases.  Are they creating their own reality?  Is that karma?  Yes, I would consider this to be a karmic life path decision but is it humane to say that they are creating their own reality?  A child who is raised in a highly dysfunctional environment could also develop patterns that prevent or block them from achieving a life that is able to recognize anything other than suffering and limitation.  I was one of those children.  Was I a child who consciously chose to create a reality that was less than healthy for me to be raised in?  No, I was not conscious of it.  Was this a karmic life path decision I agreed with prior to entry into this world?  Yes.  Therefore, even though I was a child, an embryo --- I created my own reality? ~Yes.  So what is the point?  The point is compassion. 

When we are living in pain and experiencing suffering the notion that we have created the miserable experience is beyond tolerance.  We are born with the opportunity for life and renewal, not misery and pain.  It is often our home environment that alters our life path.  It may be the choice that we agreed upon prior to this life – yet the truth remains, we were born innocent.  After we are born we are subject to the consciousness, behavior and choices of those who gave birth to us.  Our parents are the gateway whose DNA perfectly configured the requirements for the soul’s karmic lessons to be “recognized”.  This includes the behaviors of the parents and the aftermath or the blessing that they eventually leave behind.

The choice is in our hands.  The problem is, we need to be able to recognize that a choice exists to begin with in order to be able to take action.  Children are taught how to be limited through repetitive behavior and need to be able to fit in, survive and be accepted within the family environment.  Children will accept whatever plan or programming that will accommodate that need.  All that a child truly wants to do is to love and be loved.  They will do whatever it takes to achieve that status.  If it means diminishing their self worth, they will also do that.  Early childhood programming develops into latent adult behavior.  Many adults who have been raised in a dysfunctional home environment accept and tolerate a lower quality of living.  Are they creators of their own reality?  Yes, but they were programmed to create that particular reality.  We accept our reality based upon that which we are able to recognize.  It is an unconscious barrier of illusion.  I do not believe that there is anyone out there who is saying:  I don’t deserve better so I will continue to live in this miserable lifestyle and relationship.  It is an unconscious choice.  We make choices according to our familial programming and unconscious beliefs.  It is often repetitive.  Many children will accept the programming of repetitive dysfunctional imprinting until they are old enough to discover a moment of recognition and truth.  An example of this would be an experience I had when I was fifteen years old.  I came home from school one day after moving to a new town with my family.  We did not know any of our neighbors at the time.  I was planning on attending a concert that night with new friends I had met at school.  My mother had left me a note in the kitchen and told me to make myself dinner; she was taking my older sister to a late job interview.  I put oil and butter in a frying pan and walked away for what seemed to be a few short moments.  My mind was preoccupied with getting ready for the evening.  When I returned to the kitchen the entire stove was engulfed in flames.  As I reached for the handle of the frying pan the fire climbed all the way up my right arm.  The frying pan must have had oil on the bottom of it because I couldn’t figure out how a blaze like that could possibly accumulate so quickly.  I dowsed my self with water and was in a type of pain that only a burn victim would be able to recognize.  I called my father at his office and told him what had happened.  He was just leaving from San Francisco.  His cold and robotic response was that of a funeral director.  He said that his car was in the shop and he had to take the bus home.  He wouldn’t be home for about an hour -or so.  He ordered me to wait for him until he got there.  What?  What about an ambulance?  What about something other than that response?  Wasn’t I worth having an ambulance come and get me?  Was that going to cost too much money?  Why didn’t he get a rental car?  What?  I couldn’t figure it out.  I ran to the next door neighbor’s house.  She was a nice woman but unfortunately she didn’t drive and she didn’t have a car!   So what did I do?  I followed my father’s instructions like a faithful little labrador retriever, waited for him to come home while my body went into trauma and shock.  When you have third degree burns – the burn doesn’t stop.  It continues to burn long after the fire has been extinguished.  My father finally – finally arrived to take me to the hospital where I was given plenty of morphine.  Later, I was admitted into surgery for a skin transplant on my hand.

This little story has been shared for a purpose and that purpose is about programming.  The example of having to wait while suffering in pain for medical care (when I really didn’t have to), under the orders of the father was a common pattern that was woven throughout my childhood.  It severely affected my adult life and my adult choices.  To accept less was actually a type of family credo.  It is one that has been thoroughly disposed of, transmuted, forgiven and finally put to rest.  It is one that required the clarity of recognition in order to send it to its final resting place. 

The question is…  Did I create that reality for myself?  Is there any slack or room for the idea that it was someone else’s doing?  Is that what they mean by being a victim?  Are we victims of circumstance or victims of choice?  Are they one in the same?  Who in the world is going to admit that they chose to be a victim?  I say, who cares!  Let’s just get the job done and be free!

A challenging life path is a choice that has been made for all of the right reasons.  It is an incredibly courageous choice and decision for a soul to agree upon.  These souls deserve our deepest honor and respect.  It is not an easy life path to choose.  These individuals do not deserve to be judged and condemned.  There is no such thing as a wrong life path choice.  It is a life path that was chosen for the purpose of transmutation and growth.  Whether or not we achieve that goal will depend upon how much we are able to recognize the truth that we are all children of creation and as such, deserving to be honored. 

Our human minds are not given all of the answers.  If we knew all of the answers than we wouldn’t have an opportunity to experience surprise or be amazed, elated, ecstatic and grateful for recognizing the beauty of realizing a new found freedom or truth.  This is how we grow and expand consciousness.  Forgiveness is more than a sweet word of faith.  Forgiveness is not a gift that we give to others.  It is a gift that we give to ourselves which allows us to be free of resentment and bondage of the illusion of entrapment.  As we free ourselves from resentment we allow the resonance of the blessing of forgiveness to be shared with those who have willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly trespassed against us. 

Copyright.2012.jazlanahn